Today is the day.

Today I will not get anything of any real importance done. I have traffic school to do from when I got a speeding ticket speeding through Crescent City, CA on my way home from school.

I went away to Canada to go to film school a year ago. I left on new years day at 7 in the morning. Jessica, my girlfriend at the time and I went to sleep at 10 at my parents house, where we were visiting for the holidays. I guess she wasn't my girlfriend at the time though. Things had already broke bad, and what I'm describing here is the last time I saw her in person. We went to sleep early that night and woke up briefly to hear some fireworks and kiss each other at midnight. We had broken up in November but were still living together in San Diego, and thusly, we still acted as a couple. This was as brutal as it sounds to live through. We woke up at 4:30, and packed some stuff into our cars, mine was packed pretty intensely. I brought whatever home comforts I could manage to justify. A 27 inch television, way more clothing than I really needed, some of my dvds, my computer, my acoustic guitar, some other shit. We got into separate cars and drove the I-15 down to barstow. We stopped for some coffee, ate some del taco, and then sat against our cars crying our eyes out. We kissed, and embraced and then I never saw her again. I went away. My first stop was to pick up her cousin Sergio near Burbank. He was going to the same school I was and he decided to catch a ride up there early with me. From there it was a straight shot north, through the mountains of northern California(but not before the boring ass farm land of central California), up through Oregon and Washington right to the border. Sergio almost got denied entry because his loan papers weren't as in order as they should have been according to the border agents. We got there on January 3rd. I started school the next day.

I've been back since December 21st or 22nd or so. On the trip back I drove the entire way, on the trip up I drove the whole thing except for a short stretch in Oregon which Sergio drove. I haven't found work yet, but to be perfectly honest, I've only put minimal effort into finding it. When I say work I mean film related work. That could be wedding videos for all I care(I got an interview for that one, but they didn't call me back).

If today is the day, why do I keep going back to talk about yesterday? I don't know. It is a habit I've always had. Focusing on the wrong things or nothing at all. I'm stuck here in Las Vegas because this is where my support system is, and I can't afford to get out on my own right now. Today is the day, and every day is the day, to figure out how to do that in a way I can live with, on my own.

playlist: beat beat beat, braid, the buzzcocks, the boys, balls, beer