Take the Cross Out Ya Pussy

I have a friend who can sing my feelings. We have a connection that is unspoken and comforting and sometimes frustrating. It somehow manages to remain healthy. At least I think it is healthy, anyway.

I met Nicole when I was only 16 years old. I would sleep over at my friend Joe's house, after band practice most weeks. Nicole was Joe's friend and one Christmas she brought me a present. It was a pez despenser and some pez candy. I didn't understand why she would do this because as far as we all knew she had a really big crush on my best friend Chris, who was also in our band. Nicole, however seemed to have waning interest in Chris, because she started coming around more and more often whenever I was there. Eventually she tried to get me together with her friend Amber, which worked out kind of except Amber had a boyfriend and the situation was poor. Nicole and I eventually ended up together for what seemed like a decade or something to my puny adolescent brain and heart, but was in reality about a year and a half. That's one, maybe two birthdays. Her first car and my drivers license, the breakup of my first band and the beginning and end of my second bad, my highschool graduation, seeing David Spade at the RIO, seeing Blue Man Group at the Luxor(instead of playing my second bands last show), you know, memories, things of that nature.

It wasn't a healthy relationship. It was terribly unhealthy. We were both so insecure and latching onto each other like that at such a young age couldn't have been a good thing. Eventually she started looking elsewhere and all I could do was sit around and be sad. She ended up cheating on me with Joe(mentioned above), and with some random guy who she worked with. I was devastated. My feeble young heart and mind(mentioned above) were in a shambles and I suspect they probably still haven't recovered. I was 18 when it all ended and I'm 24 now. She kept coming around and trying to spoil anything I managed to eek out for myself after that for a while. She succeeded.

Now we're strangers. Eventually I told her I could never talk to her again and I haven't yet. I haven't run into her since I've returned to Las Vegas and I could only imagine what it would be like if we did run into each other. My guess is awkward.

I haven't spoken to Jessica, the girl I was in love with and lived with for a few months now. After all of these years all I am really left with is another stranger who knows me way too well for my own comfort.

Playlist: Modest Mouse, Lamps(live), Monique Noir, Japanther, the Rentals