Sunrise and sunset. Hot and cold. Happy and sad. Mean and nice. These are all fine examples of what I am being put through right now. I opened my heart and exposed myself to something I haven't been trying to avoid as much as something I was just confident I wouldn't let myself go through again. It's not over yet, and I don't by any means want it to be over. This is because when it's sunrise, when it's hot, when it's happy and when it's nice, it's too good. It's better than I can describe, at least at this point it is. I'll break, though. I always do.
I don't know what to say right now, and I don't really know what I want to talk about, or do or anything like that. I am so turned upside down by the goings on in my life right now. I should slap myself in the face hard and get a fucking move on. Really, what could the hold up be?
When I was in the sixth grade I got excused to go to the restroom. The restroom I ended up in was in the sixth grade area of my middle school, which made sense, however this restroom was poorly lit. Most of the lights didn't work. Also, the stalls in this restroom did not have functioning locks. As a result, while I was trying to poo, I oft had to also try and keep a leg up in case anyone ever decided for some reason it would be a good time to kick the door open on me. This particular trip was going fine at first, I had the place to myself and was pooping accordingly. Then I heard footsteps and whistling. No big deal, I thought, just another kid, going to the bathroom, I'll mind my own business and so will he. Unfortunately, things did not go as I had hoped they would. He used the urinal, I assume, and then washed his hands. When he was done, he strolled by my stall, which seemed weird to me, and then he through his used paper towel over the stall wall, hitting me. I said something along the lines of aw man, I think, and this is where things really stopped going my way. "What the fuck did you say?" He said. I didn't really know what to say at that point so I just kind of stammered and cleaned myself up in a hurry. He then kicked the door to my stall open, and got in my face. Luckily my pants were up by this point, saving me further humiliation. I didn't really know what to do or say, so I didn't say anything. I just remember trying to push him away from me and crying a little. He kind of tormented me and slapped me around for a while. He was a bigger kid, probably an eighth grade student. I've blocked out most of this memory. This is something that has recently just occurred to me. I do remember, right before he stopped fucking with me, he had this weird turn. He went from evil and mean to just a regular guy, and was like "alright, later dude". After he left I just sat there kind of crying for a while. Nobody came in the entire time. It couldn't have lasted longer than a minute. I went back to class and told the teacher I was sick. I got sent to the nurse and my mother eventually picked me up. She could tell something was wrong and eventually I told her what had happened. I had no way of identifying this kid though. All I remember about him to this day was that he was bigger than me, blond, and had blue eyes. I'm still pretty angry at him, so if you see him, kick him in the nuts for me. Next time if I remember, I'll share a funny public bathroom story.
Playlist: The King Khan and BBQ Show, Bomb the Music Industry!, Thorns of Life